She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
