David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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