Dual....:-)
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
