apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How's work?
Spinning.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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