is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
