Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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