Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
