It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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