she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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