when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
