so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
