so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
