My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
how does that bad decision feel?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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