sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
