member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
