Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
