You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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