I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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