Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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