Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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