not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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