did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ladies don't puke and tell
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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