no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
