I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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