how can u be prego again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
