She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
