Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize