Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize