You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone came in the potted fern
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
