Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
