Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
