yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm always down for nudity.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
