am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
