D3 body, D1 cock
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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