Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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