Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
