From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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