On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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