Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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