OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
