nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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