Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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