at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
