just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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