the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize