Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
