What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need to align my fucking chakras
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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