Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
