with your own penis?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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