If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
