i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
