(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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