just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
