but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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