How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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