Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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