Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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