Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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