I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
one might say we're banned from that church
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
