My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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