This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
