I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
